And Then Matter-Eater Lad Eats to the Rescue

Since we like odd stuff, I thought I'd feature a superhero who believes in food and knows nothing about diet at all.  No, I'm not talking about the Cookie Monster. 

People, meet Matter-Eater Lad.

Power:  The ability to eat and digest anything.  I mean, anything.
Real Name: Tenzil Kem
From the Planet: Bismoll.  A pun on Pepto-Bismoll, an over-the-counter drug for indigestion.
Why?:  Because microbes in his native planet have rendered all food inedible, so his race developed the ability to eat just about anything.  Even this keyboard.

Hate the President?  Let Matter-Eater Lad do the chowing. 

Yes, be prepared to overhaul all your preconceived notions about the superheroes in the DC universe.  Not everyone is a Batman who relies on gadgets and utility belts, or a Superman with all-purpose superpowers.  Some of them actually specialize, and turn to their digestive juices instead.   This may sound silly, especially in this age where superheroes have to be cool to make it inside a Happy Meal bag, but Matter-Eater Lad, for all his supposed appetite, has a legion of fans up till now.    

Below, an article in defense of the often-denigrated Matter-Eater Lad:

“With A Name Like Matter-Eater Lad, You KNOW He’s Got To Be Good…”

Tasty guns, anyone?

"Gail Simone, one of the best comic writers of our time, recently said something incredibly wise about the creators who claim to only want to work on the the top-of-the-line characters.  Gail’s response to this was something akin to “if they’re not first-rate characters, MAKE THEM first-rate characters.”  Her advice goes double for today’s review subject, one of the most denigrated characters of all time.  Matter-Eater Lad has never gotten any respect, sometimes not even from his fellow Legionnaires, and he’s often trotted out as an excuse for internet wags to wax poetic about how “lame” old comic-book heroes are, and how “all the good names really ARE taken, huh?”  They then go on to talk about airline food, Oprah, and how marriage means you don’t get sex anymore, am I right, guys?  In this, the Age of Irony, I feel it’s much more constructive (and more difficult) to make a case FOR a particular concept than it is to shoot it down.  Since Legionnaire Tenzil Kem is already dodging his particular slings and arrows, it behooves me to take arms on his behalf, and by opposing, end the snottiness.  Grab some popcorn and your favorite frosty beverage, while I take a few moments to explain why Matter-Eater Lad exemplifies heroism rather than emblemizing it’s failures.  This is your Major Spoilers Hero History on Tenzil Kem of Bismoll…  Matter-Eater Lad!

Matter-Eater Lad is actually one of the earliest members of the LSH, joining as #15 on their impressive roster (after the three founders [Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, & Saturn Girl] Triplicate Girl, Phantom Girl, Superboy, Chameleon Boy, Colossal Boy, Invisible Kid, Star Boy, Brainiac 5, Supergirl, Sun Boy, Ultra Boy, Shrinking Violet, Mon-El, and Bouncing Boy) and even upon his induction, Tenzil seemed to have a slight inferiority complex.  Given that the team consisted of four guys who crush planets and then some other kids (including the girl whose power is being men’s three-way fantasy), I don’t think he should have worried…"

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Maybe Matter-Eater Lad didn't pan out because they didn't know how to turn him into an salable action figure toy.  What do you do, have his action figure eat a grand piano or a railroad car to hammer the point home?  Actually, here's one where his action figure prepares to devour an Armalite.

Still, it would have been interesting to see Matter-Eater Lad make it through the decades up to the present, especially in this age of anorexia and crazy diets.

He'll still have a feast, no doubt.