Jumat, 08 April 2011

How to Survive in Star City in 9 Easy Steps

The last time I set foot on Star City, I think Fidel V. Ramos was still the president. 
Back then, me and my sis didn't get on a single ride, we just played inside a playpen filled with colorful plastic balls, kinda like Sheldon Cooper in Big Bang Theory but without the genius.

As a rule I don't ride the really scary rides at theme parks, scary meaning any ride which leaves me feeling helpless about an otherwise avoidable danger.

That means bump cars are okay.

Still, my latest visit to Star City (courtesy of complimentary ride-all-you-can tickets) didn't stop me from riding the Star Flyer, despite the news two years ago about the man who died while riding it (Star City maintains it was suicide), barely two months after the inverted roller coaster ride premiered in the theme park.

Anyway, here are 7 things you need to know in order to survive in Star City or any theme park for that matter.

1. Pack light.  Star City doesn't have lockers (yet), and while they do have a temporary baggage counter (for when you get on a water-based or inverted ride for instance), sometimes they just let you hug your bag while you hold on for dear life.

My friend: Excuse me, what do I do with my bag?
Ride operator: [bluntly]  You just hug it, Ma'am.

So bring only the necessary stuff, leave your diary and your personal vacuum cleaner home.

2. Dress comfy.  No gowns please, unless you want to get snagged.

3. Never shout "Boring!" because you just might provoke the ride operator.  Which can also be rephrased as "Never underestimate a ride."  or "Be nice to the ride operator."

Us: Boring! Boorrrinng!

[a few seconds later...]

Us: Stop!!  Get us out of here!!

For example, just because the Viking has a simple swinging pendulum-like motion doesn't mean it's peanuts compared to something as convoluted as, say the Star Flyer.  In fact, the Viking can be a pretty terrifying ride too, especially when you sit on the extreme end, and more especially when you just ate.   Which brings us to Number 4.

4. Plan your meals.  Even the most macho men will puke under the most intense rides, so be good to your stomach (and to the people adjacent to you) by planning your meals accordingly.

Ideally, eat and drink after you've had a go at all the rides.  If you must drink, sip little amounts from your water bottle.

Vendor:  [casually]  That'd be ninety bucks for the Coke.
My friend: Can I pawn the bottle afterwards?

5.  Sneak in your water bottle.  Food and drinks aren't allowed inside the Star City premises because they've got to squeeze as much money out of you as possible.  Which is to say the expensive food and drinks sold inside are patterned after the rides.  Both are heart-stopping.

The price of a bottle of Coke and a hotdog on stick, for instance, can already feed a family in Sudan.  At such rates, you'll probably even have second thoughts about giving in to your impulses to throw up after a nasty ride at Surf Dance.

If you're coming in by car, pack food and a big water jug enough to hydrate you and your family or friends, and you can just eat at the parking lot.


6. Bring your camera.  Whether you abide by film cameras or digicams, just bring one with you.  And extra batteries too, and film or memory card.

Star City's resident photographers will aim their huge cameras at you after a particularly trying time at the rides when you're especially soaked aboard your log boat on the Wild River.  In this case you must smile and look relaxed, because you don't know where those pictures might get posted on the Net.  But since those photos, just like the food, probably cost a bomb, you're not really going to claim them afterwards (unless you really want to).  That's why you brought your own camera.

7. Remember your physics lessons. Potential energy and kinetic energy to be exact, and G-force too.  No particular reason.  It just helps to know what's at work when you ride the rides.
 
8. Remember to breathe.  You scream at the top of your lungs especially during the kinetic part of the ride, but then forget to breathe, or else breathe too shallow.  That would really tire you out.  The next thing you know, you've passed out.  Wait, how can you know if you just passed out?

Whatever.  Just remember to breathe deep--because most riders don't--and you'll be okay. 

9. When you're on an ride-all-you-can ticket, by all means ride all you can!  And don't close your eyes in an effort to minimize the scare factor.  That's cheating. 

Remember roller coasters are very safe; they're subjected to precisely-controlled design and rigorous tests, not to mention constant maintenance, so you're in good hands.  In fact, you're more likely to figure in an accident during the trip from your house to Star City and back, than on a roller coaster.

So buckle up and enjoy the ride, and try not to get some on your seatmate.

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