--And we are watching this because...? It's a wooden-statue-turned-real-man with wooden acting, for timber's sake!
--I heard they're axing the show. Get it? Axe!
--So all the more reason we have to stay tuned. They'll be bringing out the guns, and fireworks, and impromptu cameos, and ridiculous plot twists, and tacky special effects in a last ditch attempt to wow the audience. But we'll just snicker at their giant fail of a remake.
--But I'm afraid I'm easily wowed, Dinkie.
--We'll switch to static snow from time to time if the drama becomes too overbearing.
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