Chapter 11, in Which Woolly Meets a New Friend

-Hi, I'm a Woolly Mammoth!

-Uhm, hi.  I'm a Coelophysis!

-But I thought you were extinct?!

-But I thought you were extinct?!

(moments pass before the two are able to compose themselves.)

-Anyway, ever seen Jurassic Park?  Pre-historic bloodsucking insects stuck in amber?

-I don't remember seeing any Woolly Mammoths in Jurassic Park.

-Oh, we're just a shy bunch.

Now We're Getting Lost

Remember those plastic rulers slash mazes in grade school?  

This I would love to see in real life.

The ones with tiny ball bearings inside you have to maneuver through a kind of dinky, half-hearted maze the entire length of the ruler.  It was so easy that even an infant can get that tiny ball from point A to B just by shaking the ruler, and you just have to wonder why the manufacturers bothered at all.  I mean if you're going to make a maze, might as well make it grand.  Make sure that ball gets lost, because then what is the point?  

Well it turns out a ruler is the wrong medium for a maze.  It's so 2D.

Let's have a ball.

A sphere is much better, such as Michael McGinnis' maze inside a ball called Perplexus (and a much trickier one, Superperplexus)

Two days ago I got hold of a Perplexus ball at the Hobbes and Landes at Shangri-La.  No, I didn't buy it, just toyed with it because it's right there on the shelf, and boy was it hard.  Think M.C. Escher's famous mind-boggling stairs because that's what it felt like.

I had to put it back down after a couple of vain attempts to navigate the ball because I didn't want the store clerk suddenly springing a "Time's Up" on me.  

Anyway, high price and rather thin plastic used for the ball aside, it's an ingenious game.  And to think McGinnis hatched the idea for his 3D labyrinth back in the 1970s, but only got to pitch it two decades later because probably the technology wasn't there yet.  

The whole time I was tilting the ball in my hands, I was thinking about the laborious process of designing the pathways just to have that ball bearing inside a grand time.

Now, we're getting lost.

Madness Returns, Hopefully

The official trailer to American McGee's Alice: Madness Returns.

Rugged As They Go

Why You Should Be Getting the

Rock Crawler Junior

from Maisto:

 

• This RC car got the nod as one of the best new toys at the 2001 Toy Fair in London.
• With its front and rear motors and those big wheels, is mighty aggressive on the road
• Rugged enough to withstand everyday torture from kids.
• Good enough for adults to covet as well.
• Like a true all-terrain vehicle, has realistic engine sounds.
• Can even withstand rain and shallow puddles.
• Will mow down and drive over most things the laws of physics would allow.
• Controller has tri-channel transmitter for 3 people to fight it out with each other.
• For a change, a toy that can be played outdoors, as opposed to passive indoor video games.
• Nice RC car for under $50.
• Batteries included
• No need to assemble: drive right away!

Why You Shouldn't Be Getting the Rock Crawler Junior:

• Might be a little slow for your taste.  (The RC car's name did warn you though about the crawling part.)
• Lots of batteries needed.  So invest in rechargeable ones while you're at it.
• Pretty much that's it.

And these are 2011's Best New Toys because?

1. Plants Vs. Zombies Board Game | Because unlike PC screens, boardgames don't cause eye strain.

2. Plants Vs. Zombies Plush toys | Why not?

($18.90 at Amazon)

3.Mooshi Monsters | Because online game pet monsters also want to materialize into plush toys someday.

($39.99 at Amazon)

4.Fisher Price Kid Tough See Yourself Camera | Because no way you're going to let kids have a go with your mucho expensive DSLR.

($38.54 at Amazon)

 

5.Inchworm | Because robots we can control and make crawl and even pirouette are cool.  (Both the robot and the act of controlling.)

($16.95 at Amazon)

6.Angry Birds Plush Toys | Because anger is such a nice marketable vice..  

($9.63 at Amazon)

7. Meccano's Space Chaos Silver Force Fighters |  Because it's about frigging time the Meccano building sets turned towards space.

($16.13 at Amazon)

8. Lego: Discovery International Space Station | Because kids don't know who John Glenn is anymore.


($114.90 at Amazon)

9. Sylvanian Families Ambulance | Because the famous woodland creatures, after decades of peaceful living in the forest, have deemed it important to take turns being doctor and patient.

10. Perplexus | Because we're fascinated with mazes and labyrinths, and getting lost, and so much the better if it's in 3D.

($15.99 at Amazon)

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and Why You Should Stay on Dry Land Instead

Just when we thought the legend of the Fountain of Youth has been rehashed far too many times in films, comes the latest installment to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise: On Stranger Tides

In the magical world of Captain Jack Sparrow, the legendary fountain of youth becomes all too plausible, something just beyond the other side of the dark waters if you're willing to cross it.  Sure enough, in the capable hands of our madcap captain, the fountain is easily accessible but, alas, requires a mermaid (a drop of her tears at least) for the water to function.  

So you have the lovely spectacle of extremely mobile mermaids, the quest for the fountain of youth, and two warring factions out to get it.  A simple enough recipe for a Disney movie.  

Blah.

The film's most ironic scene (and perhaps the most laughable too--if not hitting too close to home)--is the part where a third party, a band of men sailing under the Spanish flag, enters frame, and in the name of God, proclaims the Fountain of Youth sacrilegious for only God should dictate death, and so said Spanish army proceeds to smash and rearrange the place.  A bunch of killjoy Christians.

Admittedly, this is my first time to ever watch Pirates of the Caribbean (What!?, First time?!  Have I been living under a rock?).  So really I have no idea what the earlier movies are all about and how they connect to this new one.  The only thing I know is that Pirates.. features Johnny Depp as, well, a pirate, and from the trailers, I can also recall a man with a squid for a face (Well that kind of thing is pretty hard to ignore.)  Now, too, because I happen to be watching with Edge who apparently has seen the other Pirates... movies, from him I now know Jack Sparrow's hatred for water.

Rob Marshall's Stranger Tides is full of the old thrills and tired antics, but unfortunately teaches me nothing new in its chosen realm, whether on seas or dry land.  Still, it was worth watching for the simple unassailable reason of the eccentric Johnny Depp's presence. 

Does this make me want to watch the earlier films?  Maybe, if the onboard TV bus happens to have it on pirated DVD.

How to Buy An Eco-Toy the Guilt-Free Way

Eco-aware folks tell us to reduce, reuse, recycle in exactly this order.  Which means the spate of eco-toys sold in toy stores everywhere or online are better off not bought in the first place: the reduce part.  

To be really, as in really eco-friendly, we'd have to reduce our purchased and shun those new sparkling toys...

as if they were the plague--no matter how eco-friendly they claim to be.


 Impossible to follow, of course.  You're probably saying, forget the environment, I'm buying my little boy a Handy Manny toy set.

No monkeying around with eco-toys

So we go to the next R: reuse.  Pre-owned toys are perfectly fine, and if you scour your local thrift store, you might find a treasure trove of second-hand toys still in good condition, all ready to make fresh memories with its new owner. 


Simply put, just because a toy is deemed eco-friendly, that doesn't mean it's 100% eco-friendly.  If for example you're buying it online, think about the carbon footprint that would be spent shipping off the toy.  Or sure, that toy is made out of sustainably-grown bamboo but since the grass thrives best in tropical Asian countries, there's still the fuel to be accounted for to get those bamboo shipped in the US and Europe.




What you can do instead:


1. Arrange a toy swap meet with parents in your neighborhood, and exchange toys with them.  Bring the kids along too.


2.  If you must buy a toy, buy one that's sturdy and can be handed down to another kid when your kid outgrows it.  Don't buy cheap toys that look like they'll fall apart within weeks.


3. Always remember to clean and disinfect any second-hand toy you buy from the thrift store.


4. Sometimes, no matter how nostalgic or meaningful a toy is to your kid, there comes a time when that toy has to go.  (Think Toy Story 3).  In which case, that toy is better handed down to another kid who'll find more use for it instead of it just sitting on the shelf collecting dust everyday.  Donate to an orphanage or a charity institution, etc.


5.  Do a little Googling and check toy manufacturer's policies regarding the eco-friendliness of their product.


6. Build your own eco-toy from trash.  Bring out the glue and colored paper and scissors and let kids think up of ingenious uses for milk cartons, egg cartons, that big box your printer came out of.

7. For electronic toys, buy rechargeable batteries and a charger instead of one-time-use-only disposable batteries.  Rechargeable batteries may cost higher but they pay for themselves in years, and you're also doing your bit for the environment.  Also, enlist your child's cooperating in turning the toy off when they're not playing with it.



So you see, it's not always a good eco-decision to buy the latest, most talked-about eco toy that comes out in the market.  Sometimes, a little restraint with a firm No can be good too.